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Who Will I Be This Time Next Year?

by Summer Arachnid

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1.
Back of My Head 01:52
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There’s a hole in the back of my head Where you put the magnifying glass up to it Burn through my cranium It’s okay, I won’t like what’s in there in a month There’s a hole in the back of my head Everything you say drips right back out through it When I’m old, I hope it finally heals shut So I can remember who I am for more than a month, a month I’m driving west into the sunset The glare is burning my eyes The lazy, hazy 7:30 summer sun Is falling from the sky
2.
Lavender 03:51
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All my friends are living in the city They spend all their days pulling out the weeds But they can’t see me All my friends are fashioned with rose-tinted Glasses or goggles whichever suits them best What will let their eyes rest? Bits of lavender resting on my eyelashes Weighing down my eyelids in a haze Ivy disposition, growing in the cracks Climbing up your walls and taking up space Everything in its place Poison ivy rashes, this is why you don’t Leave thе house whenevеr I ask You to go out Bits of lavender resting on my eyelashes Weighing down my eyelids in a haze Bits of lavender resting on my eyelashes Weighing down my eyelids in a haze Flowers are growing in my hair So I’ll pick them out ‘Cause I don’t want them there Flowers are growing in my hair So I’ll pick them out ‘Cause I don’t want them there It’s my own fucking hair So I’ll shave it off I’ll do what I want, do what I want Flowers are growing in my hair So I’ll pick them out ‘Cause I don’t want them there
3.
Ground Me 03:26
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How come My friends are all having fun? All around me Without me How come My friends are all having fun? All around me Without me Thousand pound Weights weighing down On my chest To ground me Ground me Ground me
4.
I Wanna Be Your Tapeworm 03:02
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Can I be your tapeworm? I’ll follow you wherever you may go I can live underneath your skin Until you tell me to hit the road, find a new host Can I be the parasite That’s making you lose your mind? Leave you running and scratching until you find A way to leave me behind Or I could be the leech That your plague doctor prescribed Worming my way into your heart Are pseudoscientists your type? Can I be your tapeworm? I’ll follow you wherever you may go I can live underneath your skin Until you tell me to hit the road, find a new host
5.
Bite 03:19
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I bite the hand that feeds gently I fight my friends, the people who love me I don’t like the things that used to make me happy I need to stop wasting my time I bite the hand that feeds gently I fight my friends, the people who love me I don’t like the things that used to make me happy I look in the mirror and don’t recognize who I see Nightmares shake me, wake me, I’m sweating through the sheets I’m waiting for my choices to come back and bite me I need to stop wasting my time I need to stop wasting my time I need to stop wasting my time I need to stop wasting my time
6.
Lightbulbs 2 03:58
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It’s dark in my room All my lights are burning out ‘Cause I leave them on Even when I’m gone It’s dark in my room All my lights are burning out ‘Cause I leave them on Even when I’m gone Lightbulbs burning I leave them when I’m sleeping in Lightbulbs burning in my room Pages turning Paper cuts still hurting On the dusty bookshelf in my room Lightbulbs burning I leave them when I’m sleeping in Lightbulbs burning I leave them when I’m sleeping in Lightbulbs burning I leave them when I’m sleeping in Lightbulbs burning I leave them when I’m sleeping in Lightbulbs burning I leave them when I’m sleeping in Lightbulbs burning I leave
7.
Acne 06:21
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I am nothing more than the ripped holes in my tights That’s all you can see through your cold, glass eyes Peer through my sheer layers, examine me Try to find any blemish you can see I’m so sorry that I’m late I’ve wasted my whole day Sitting in front of the mirror And picking at my skin Under fluorescent lighting It’s so inviting There’s no greater sin than vanity That is, of course, barring murder, theft, and greed But hypocrisy tastes so sugary sweet I hope it rots your teeth I’m so sorry that I’m late I’ve wasted my whole day Sitting in front of the mirror And picking at my skin Under fluorescent lighting It’s so inviting
8.
The Second Coming of Jesus Christ Himself 03:49
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The preacher at the Port Authority He’s yelling at me to repent Is my Catholic school uniform Not good enough for him? I didn’t think Jesus would come to me Smelling like piss left on the city streets I didn’t ask what you think of me It’s too early for this, leave me be Wear my heart on my sleeve Stained red from box hair dye And the subway platform shakes beneath my feet And I see hell on the other side I didn’t think Jesus would come to me Smelling like piss left on the city streets I didn’t ask what you think of me It’s too early for this, leave me be Stand clear of the closing doors Stand clear, the end is near Stand clear of the closing doors Stand clear I didn’t think Jesus would come to me Smelling like piss left on the city streets I didn’t ask what you think of me It’s too early for this, leave me be
9.
Dishwasher 04:03
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I wanna have control I wanna be on my own I wanna carry all the dirty dishes down from my room Without being told All you do is complain about your stupid boyfriend And I always say he’s a jerk You don’t care, maybe he’ll change We’ll make it work, you’ll make it worse I wanna have control I wanna be on my own I wanna carry all the dirty dishes down from my room Without being told Do we know how to talk without mentioning other people? Maybe we’re the problem, maybe we’re the mean ones Hypocrites anonymous, I’ll catch you at the next one Daily meetings at lunch I miss the old me a bunch I’m turning into a bitch Maybe even a cunt And I wish I wanna have control I wanna have control I wanna have control I wanna be on my own I wanna carry all the dirty dishes down from my room I wanna carry all the dirty dishes down from my room I wanna carry all the dirty dishes down from my room I wanna carry all the dirty dishes down from my room Without being told
10.
Overgrown 08:25
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Chewing a piece of gum furiously I bite the inside of my cheek way too hard I start to bleed Chewing on my nails when I’m anxious or bored I thought I didn’t do that anymore That’s the old me Who will I be? Who will I be? Who will I be this time next year? Who will I be? Who will I be? Who will I be this time next year? I spend my days on Google street view Looking at towns I’ve never been to Scrutinizing through the screen That yard is overgrown with weeds Who will I be? Who will I be? Who will I be this time next year? Who will I be? Who will I be? Who will I be this time next year? I spend my days on Google street view Looking at towns I’ve never been to Scrutinizing through the screen That yard is overgrown with weeds I spend my days on Google street view Looking at towns I’ve never been to Scrutinizing through the screen That yard is overgrown with weeds Who will I be? Who will I be? Who will I be this time next year? Who will I be? Who will I be? Who will I be this time next year? I hope that I’m still friends with you I hope I don’t start to hate all the things the old me used to do And every song I’ve ever written is shit And vomit’s dripping through my teeth I’m feeling nauseous in the backseat

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released January 11, 2023

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Summer Arachnid New Jersey

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